Why am I learning to parent?
I attended Aiman Azlan’s marriage webinar series, which consists of the process of taaruf, first year of marriage and until the first 6 years of a child’s life. He recently emailed us asking for feedback, and it made me ponder on my intentions.
Training
I believe that generally all parents are doing the best that they can in raising their children. The absolute best effort. I do not know any parent that are not exhausted everyday raising their (young) children, and I truly admire the energy that they put in every single day.
They genuinely want the best for their children.
So it can be hard that after all that effort, sometimes the outcome is not as per what we expect.
Parenting is a job- it comes with responsibilities.
Imagine being at work, and we’re doing all that we can to get that job done. 8 hours a day in front of the computer, so focused and efficient. However sometimes things just don’t work out, and we’re not happy with the outcome.
It’s so easy for us to blame ourselves when this happens. We wish we had put in more hours or worked harder.
Try to consider this theory:
Effort x (Skills+Knowledge+Values) = Desired Outcome
Let’s face it, our effort and time are limited. However, there is no limit in developing and building our skills, knowledge and values. That’s why at work, we constantly have to attend trainings. It increases our efficiency and the quality of our outcome.
I know myself and I know if I ever going to have a child in the future, it will definitely be overwhelming. So, one of my intentions is I want to get a headstart in learning.
If I am not destined to ever be a mother, it’s okay! It’s knowledge. Ilm. And there is no such thing as a wasteful knowledge.
Soul
Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. [2:286]
I believe that sometimes our prayers are not answered yet because Allah knows we not ready. Especially in parenting, it is a trial (Fitan). It comes with immense hardship and responsibilities.
So, this is me prepping my soul to be ready. :)
It is important for us to constantly refresh our intentions in whatever that we’re doing. Hopefully this write up will be good whenever I lose motivation in the future.
May Allah ease and bless our knowledge seeking journey.
Love,